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Lord Horatio Nelson was born on 29 September 1758 in Burnham Thorpe, Norfolk, England (approximately 25 miles north-east of King’s Lynn). He was the sixth of eleven children of the Reverend Edmund Nelson and Catherine Suckling.
Nelson’s romantic life can be divided into three periods: his early courtships, his marriage to Frances Nisbet, and his relationship with Emma Hamilton. Each phase reveals specific aspects of both his character and the social dynamics of Georgian England.
Nelson’s Early Romantic Pursuits (1778-1785)
Nelson’s first documented romantic interest occurred in Quebec in 1782, where he formed an attachment to Mary Simpson, the sixteen-year-old daughter of a local merchant. The relationship progressed to the point where Nelson contemplated marriage, leading to the intervention of his commanding officer, Alexander Cochrane, who orchestrated Nelson’s rapid departure from Quebec to prevent what he considered an imprudent match.
In 1783, Nelson became infatuated with Elizabeth Andrews in Saint Omer, France. This relationship, documented in his private correspondence with Alexander Davison, demonstrated his tendency toward intense emotional attachments. His letters from this period reveal a pattern of romantic idealization that would characterize his later relationships.
Nelson’s Marriage to Frances Nisbet (1785-1798)
Nelson met Frances “Fanny” Nisbet on Nevis in 1785. Frances was born in 1761 in the West Indies. She was the daughter of a senior judge and became a widow at a young age after the death of her first husband, Dr. Josiah Nisbet. Her courtship with Nelson lasted eighteen months, during which time Nelson wrote detailed letters to his confidant, Alexander Davison, expressing both romantic attachment and practical considerations regarding the marriage. The wedding took place on March 11, 1787, at Montpelier Estate, Nevis. Prince William Henry (later William IV) gave the bride away.
The specific details of their early married life are preserved in their correspondence, which shows initial contentment. They established their first home at Burnham Thorpe, Norfolk, living on Nelson’s half-pay of £123 per annum.
However, the marriage experienced several challenges:
- Extended separations due to Nelson’s naval duties (1793-1797)
- Fanny’s reluctance to travel to Naples in 1798
- Disagreements over Nelson’s financial support of his family members
- Fanny’s chronic illness and Nelson’s increasing impatience with her complaints
Their relationship deteriorated further after Nelson began an affair with Emma Hamilton in 1798. After their separation, Frances lived independently but continued to benefit from financial support from Nelson and later a government pension following his death at Trafalgar in 1805. She spent her later years in Exmouth with her son Josiah from her first marriage, and remained devoted to Nelson’s memory despite his abandonment. Frances died on May 4, 1831, and was buried alongside her son in Littleham Churchyard in Devon.
Nelson’s Relationship with Emma Hamilton 1793-1805
Nelson first met Emma Hamilton on September 12, 1793, at Naples. Their initial interaction was formal, but when they met again in 1798, following the Battle of the Nile, their relationship rapidly intensified.
The period between 1798 and 1800 marked the intensification of Nelson and Emma Hamilton’s relationship within the complex social fabric of Neapolitan society. Their daily encounters at the Palazzo Sessa became an established routine, carefully managed within the protocols of diplomatic life. During this time, they developed an elaborate system of coded correspondence that allowed them to communicate privately despite their public positions. Emma’s integration into Neapolitan court life, facilitated by her position as wife of the British Ambassador, provided convenient opportunities for their meetings. Sir William Hamilton’s tacit acceptance of their growing attachment added a layer of complexity to their relationship, creating an unusual dynamic within the diplomatic household.
The Birth of Horatia
The years 1800-1801 proved pivotal in their relationship. Emma’s pregnancy, conceived in late 1800, necessitated elaborate precautions to maintain secrecy. The birth of their daughter Horatia on January 29, 1801, lat 23 Piccadilly, London, led to the creation of an intricate network of secret communication systems and carefully constructed cover stories to protect both the child’s existence and her parentage. These arrangements involved trusted intermediaries and complex schemes to maintain the facade of propriety while ensuring the child’s welfare.
To avoid further disgrace, Nelson and Emma orchestrated a complex plan to conceal Horatia’s true parentage:
- They claimed Horatia was born earlier than she was, at a time when Emma was supposedly in Vienna, providing Emma with an alibi.
- They fabricated a story that Horatia was the daughter of Vice-Admiral Charles Thompson (with his agreement), with Emma and Nelson acting as her godparents and later as adoptive parents.
- Horatia was initially raised by a wet nurse, Mrs. Gibson, and only brought to the family home for special occasions, always under the guise of being a godchild.
The Purchase of Merton Place
The purchase of Merton Place in 1801 for £9,000 marked a new phase in their relationship. This substantial property became the center of an unconventional domestic arrangement involving Nelson, Emma, and Sir William Hamilton. The household operated under carefully structured protocols, with Emma assuming responsibility for household management while Sir William maintained separate apartments. The establishment implemented specific visiting hours for naval officers and carefully managed public appearances to maintain social respectability.
Financial Arrangements
Financial arrangements were meticulously organized. Nelson provided Emma with a substantial annual allowance of £1,200, while maintaining separate accounts for household and personal expenses. Complex property arrangements involving multiple trustees were established to protect their interests and provide for Horatia’s future.
Mixed Social Acceptance
The social consequences of their relationship were significant and far-reaching. While they faced exclusion from certain social circles, Nelson’s naval colleagues generally remained supportive. Their reception at court was mixed, and the relationship occasionally impacted Nelson’s professional appointments, though his military success largely insulated him from serious professional consequences.
Following Sir William Hamilton’s death in 1803, the relationship entered its final phase. Though more public, it retained complex dimensions. The couple entertained regularly at Merton, managed multiple properties, and focused on establishing Horatia’s education. They developed detailed plans for their future together, though these would remain unrealised due to Nelson’s death at Trafalgar.
Nelson’s Commitment to Emma’s and Horatia’s Welfare
Nelson’s final wishes demonstrated his deep commitment to Emma’s and Horatia’s welfare. His will included specific bequests, and he wrote letters to the King and government requesting provision for them. He left detailed instructions for trustees and made explicit arrangements for Emma’s future security.
However, the aftermath of Nelson’s death revealed the precariousness of Emma’s position. The government rejected Nelson’s requests for Emma’s support, leading to her financial decline.
Emma Hamilton: The Outcast Woman
After Nelson’s death in 1805, Emma Hamilton’s life deteriorated significantly. She was initially devastated by the news and remained bedridden for weeks, unable to recover emotionally. Despite Nelson’s will leaving her Merton Place, some financial provisions, and a request for the nation to support her, these wishes were largely ignored. She faced abandonment by many of Nelson’s family and friends.
Emma struggled with mounting debts due to her lavish spending and lack of income. By 1808, she was £15,000 in debt, forcing her to auction Merton Place and many possessions. In 1812, she was imprisoned for debt but lived in genteel accommodations nearby. Public opinion turned against her after the publication of private letters between her and Nelson in 1814, further damaging her reputation.
To escape creditors, Emma fled to Calais with her daughter in July 1814. Her health deteriorated rapidly due to jaundice and possibly cirrhosis of the liver. She died impoverished in a rented room on January 15, 1815, at the age of 49. With the help of the British Consul, Emma was buried in Calais at the graveyard of St Pierre’s Church.
Nelson and Horatia Ward: The Denying Daughter
Following Emma’s death, Horatia returned to England, where she was taken in by Lord Nelson’s family, primarily his sisters Catherine Matcham and Susanna Bolton. However, her position within the family was complicated. She was treated more like a servant than a ward and faced difficulties due to her illegitimacy and lack of inheritance.
Horatia eventually married Reverend Philip Ward in 1822 and had ten children, eight of whom survived to adulthood. Her life as a vicar’s wife was marked by public scrutiny due to her origins as Lord Nelson’s daughter.
Despite substantial evidence and widespread belief in Emma Hamilton’s maternity, Horatia steadfastly refused to acknowledge Emma as her mother throughout her life. She accepted Nelson as her father but maintained that Emma was merely her guardian. This denial persisted even as public and private correspondence, as well as published letters, increasingly pointed to Emma’s maternity. Horatia’s reluctance was partly rooted in her desire to preserve her father’s reputation and avoid the implication of adultery with his close friend’s wife.
Nelson’s will included a codicil naming Horatia as his “adopted daughter” and expressed his dying wish that his “only lineal descendent” be cared for by the nation. However, after his death, the government ignored this request, directing public gratitude and financial rewards to Nelson’s brother, William, rather than to Horatia. Horatia was left without inheritance or official recognition, and her position remained precarious.
The controversy over Horatia’s parentage was reignited multiple times, notably when The Times referred to her as “Lady Hamilton’s little daughter Horatia,” prompting public denials from the Ward family, who accepted Nelson as her father but rejected Emma’s maternity. The issue remained a subject of fascination and speculation, especially as Horatia became a vicar’s wife and public figure in Tenterden, where her origins were a frequent topic of local and national interest.
In the 1850s, a national appeal was launched to raise funds for Horatia and her children, involving public committees and appeals to the Prime Minister. The campaign met with limited success, and it ultimately required royal intervention to secure pensions for her daughters, underscoring Horatia’s status as Nelson’s unacknowledged child, reliant on public charity rather than private inheritance.
Horatia lived until 1881, dying at the age of 80 in Pinner, near London.
© James Rye 2025
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Sources
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- Emma Hamilton Society. http://www.emmahamiltonsociety.co.uk/grover-talk-2.html
- Flory, M. (2003). A Matter of Honour: The Life, Campaigns and Character of Horatio Nelson. HarperCollins
- Fraser, F. (1987). Beloved Emma: The Life of Emma Lady Hamilton. Weidenfeld & Nicolson
- Hardwick, M. (1969). Emma, Lady Hamilton. Holt, Rinehart and Winston
- National Museum, Royal Navy. https://www.nmrn.org.uk/news/extraordinary-life-horatia-nelson
- Pauline Connolly. https://paulineconolly.com/2018/horatia-nelson/
- Russell, J. (2007). Nelson and the Hamilton-Nelson Triangle. The History Press
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- Warner, O. (1960). Emma Hamilton and Sir William. Chatto & Windus
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